His and Hers

The arc of time that describes the year that leads up to, and into, those first few months in college is all about you.  Not you and me: you, The Graduate. 

If you want to survive that as a parent, you had better have achieved a fairly high level of competence in other aspects of life—particularly marriage and work. Our little 17-year-olds can be black-holes for attention—not because they want it, because they need it.  So much of our energy is focused on their success.  As I look back on this year, several analogies come to mind:

A Formula 1 pit crew

Mission Control at Cape Canaveral

The President’s Secret Service Detail

I count myself fortunate that Nolan, in fact his whole circle of friends, are a darn good bunch of kids.  But let’s face it, in order achieve lift-off they seem need a support team. They need advice, coaching, protection—sometimes they just need a new set of tires and some fuel in the tank.  And then, in a cloud of smoke, they are gone.

As I watch the F1 that is Nolan get up to speed, I wonder how the rest of the “crew” is faring.  In particular I am considering how our next F1 driver, Rayna, the one waiting in the wings, is experiencing this.

He is swerving and braking, shifting and accelerating as he works to gain control.  She is still on the kiddie track with big protective bumpers. But she is watching it all and taking it in.

When Shannon and I were first married, we took a winter trip to Florida.  We visited Cape Canaveral to see the space shuttle.   It was so impressive to see the shuttle sitting on the launch pad—there was a latent power you could just sense.  A few miles away, in an enormous hanger the other shuttle was being readied.  As the bus dodged armadillos on the road out of the compound, I thought about those two shuttles in juxtaposition.  It struck me how different it must be for the two crews—one in the frenetic throes of a launch, the other methodically inspecting, repairing and preparing.  Life is like that, part of your focus on performing, part on preparing.  His and hers.

The trick for me is to watch and enjoy his race and not lose sight of her long preparation to get behind the wheel of her own life.